This Photograph is Proof

As many of my friends know, I am currently trying to become good at taking photographs that might also be considered artsy. The picture above is obviously a failed attempt, but an attempt none-the-less and it comes with a short little story that some may find amusing. After one of the first snow falls in the city I decided to bust out my awesome new camera and try to take some cool fandangeled pictures. Central Park seemed a good place for cool snow pictures, but I have to admit I didn't get any that made me extremely proud. Sorry, on to the better part.

A man suddenly ran by me in some very very short shorts (so short a girl shouldn't even wear them) with the longest socks you will ever see. They were like stockings a woman might wear with something short to show off how good her legs look. The thing was that the man was old, did not have attractive legs, and was definitely not a woman. He should not have been wearing those socks - case closed. There was a small group of tourists walking at a quicker pace from behind me and I heard them say "He is going to slash." My first thought was "Oh! No! He is going to try to kill all of us as once." And then I realized that this was impossible unless he had a bomb and there was absolutely no way he was carrying it unless it was really small. And then I thought even if he tries to kill us my boyfriend knows ma-hatz or some street fighting things and he will protect me. But by the time all of these thoughts raced through my head I realized that I was not going to die and the man had already run by. Crisis averted. Or so I thought.

I paused for a minute or so to take a picture of the bench above and then continued down the little path to 59th street. All of a sudden the short shorts runner sock guy was back - and now he was mad. He was approaching at a very fast pace telling me I was despicable, pitiful, and some other harsh words that I no longer remember. He was shaking his head and had the hugest frown I had ever seen. He was galloping towards me and my boyfriend waving a finger with rage. The tourists were now nowhere to be found. "Oh! He was waiting for them to leave before he tried to kill us". All of a sudden he pivoted and started walking angrily the other way and I finally caught the words that justified his madness, "You think it's funny to take my picture while I am taking a piss, you are pitiful! PITIFUL!" I think he also muttered something about being ashamed as he started running again and he kept turning around to make sure I was no longer capturing his soul with my camera.

As you can see, as you reference the picture above, he is not in it. I had no idea he was peeing on that wall on the right side of the bench. After I realized he was not going to kill me I still felt horrible and had the strange desire to run after him and explain that his wee-wee was not the focus of my picture. Poor guy.

Wait, I just realized that he was peeing in public on a wall in Central Park. Gross!