Hide and Seek

I have finally relocated back to Los Angeles and now that I am settled have found myself in a strange living situation. Let me explain (ok, more like rant about) my first few weeks.

I arrived with an invitation to move into my subleased apartment merely days after the meeting the original tenants -
"You can move in as early as tomorrow if you would like."
and I think "of course... why would I wait to move in if I can just do it now."

I arrive the next afternoon with luggage in hand and ready to mark my new territory. I open the front door to a girl who was obviously not expecting me. I greet the said girl and ask if the other roommate is home. She does not answer and just yells, "JAMIE - some girl is here to move in." I take this as a cue to follow her into the room which she busted into and see that the half of the room that is meant to be mine is currently being occupied by a very unattractive girl who does not introduce herself. I then take the initiative: "Hi, my name is Mary and your other roommate said it would be fine if I moved in today." She responds with a long exasperated sigh and then grunts. "Uh well, I'm kinda busy and I'm not really ready for you to move in yet."

Ok.... so what am I supposed to do now?? Politely I ask, "when do you think you will have time to clear this space out for me so I can bring my stuff in?"

"Tonight... Maybe like 5." She turns away and starts blow drying her hair so she doesn't have to look or talk to me anymore.

I took that as my cue to leave and did just that. Not wanting to face these lovely beings two days in a row I took the next day off to give them some space and came back two days later. I then found a cleared off bed but no other space in the room for any of my belongings... Jamie proceeded to then be out of town for the entire weekend, so... not feeling comfortable about moving her belongings I lived out of my suitcase for that weekend and what turned into the next week and a half.

The other girl - the one who yelled all the time seemed to be some sort of crazy feminist, vegan, lesbian who was always mad and came home drunk every night. One morning, she woke me up at 5:45am screaming to her mother on the phone, "There are people sleeping everywhere MOM! I cant find my keys!" I think she slammed the door about 29 times before I decided to gt up and pee since she was convinced that no one else should sleep because of her issues. As I came out of the bathroom, still sleepy-eyed and drowsy, she came rushing at me with veins popping out of her neck asking (I mean yelling of course) if I had taken her keys. I am sure it was too early in the morning to hide the look on my face - the secret was out I think, she now knows I think she is a psycho. I shake my head no and she runs past me into my room and screams at Jamie who is still (somehow) asleep: "JAMIE! I lost my keys!!! Wake up, have you seen them??" Jamie laughs, rolls over and says something about how she had to use them to move her car the night before as she points to the keys right next to her on the desk. "THANKS" is all I hear as yelling-girl leaves and slams the door the final time that morning.

It has been about a week since those characters have been gone and the new roommates have moved in. Now I have a nice roommate also named Jamie - I know, super confusing. I am still finding traces of these crazy people and nothing that I find makes them more normal. I spent over 4 hours of my life cleaning a kitchen of disgusting proportions with a salmonella infested refrigerator and dishes in the cabinets with so much food on them that I wondered if they even washed their dishes.

They left some fun surprises too, like two completely empty boxes of dishwasher detergent, dirty socks in my closet, some huge bong shaped cups from some shady club, a blue polka-dotted bonnet, a goose with a removable head, Pokemon lights in the living room, and 5 million posters of Marylin Monroe. One of the favorite things I came across while cleaning out under my bed was the remote control to the DVD player which they told me did not exist when I was watching a movie a few days before they left.

They also left all of their pictures, valentines day cards and glow-stars around the apartment. We have thenceforth covered up most of their existence with other strange objects like potato chip bags, playing cards, and our own memorabilia.

I hope when one of the original girls gets back next month things aren't completely awkward... especially since she will be living in my room. But until then I will try to make the most of my findings keep you updated on the other ridiculous things I stumble upon in my new apartment!